Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
