you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
