Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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