I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
