one two three fourrrrnication!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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