I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
