Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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