twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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