I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize