1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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