i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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