beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
