I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he told me I talked like a deaf person
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
