I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
