The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize