Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
