so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
