Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
BRING THE BAGELS
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
