absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize