do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Randomize
