a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize