We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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