They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
