Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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