the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
