just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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