I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
