can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
