if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
