ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just cut my nipple shaving
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
