I got her a Nickelback box set.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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