Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
