we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
