i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I looked at my own cervix.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
