Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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