Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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