Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
