He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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