ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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