I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize