Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize