Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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