my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
