I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
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