Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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