I wish I only lived at night.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
