oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
