i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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