Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
