You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
