Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
