Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize