: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
