i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
