I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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