I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
