just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
