I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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