Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
