It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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