Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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