the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
