So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize