good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
