she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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