I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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