Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
