I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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