Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
