Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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