nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
