when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
